Beginning

   [Before I go off on my rant, let me just say that if this applies to you, I apologize, but perhaps I might be sort of, kind of, maybe just the TEENSIEST bit on to something worth hearing? Anyway, no insults intended. Peace.]

             One of my biggest pet peeves is reading a story that begins with a beginning. Since that sounds remarkably counterintuitive, allow me a moment to clarify by asking:

“How many stories have you read that open with the main character getting out of bed in the morning?”

The question was a rhetorical one since the answer is quite clearly “A MILLION AND ONE.” I can’t begin to tell you just how many (usually amateur) books, short stories and fan fictions I’ve read that start with the main character throwing their BEEP BEEP BEEPING alarm clock across the room, cursing that they have to wake up so early, and then going on to do their morning beauty routine (which always includes a handy mirror scene in which the OC/narrator/main character can tell the reader exactly what they look like down to the last detail).

Beginning a story with another beginning (in this case, the start of a new day) is incredibly cliché—yes, we get this story is starting fresh, and yes, we get that waking up seems like a good place to start since you’ve got a full day ahead of you to describe, but have you noticed that all those character-wakes-up-beginnings lead to the exact same first-chapter-outline? Character goes to school/work, character talks about the people in their lives, character shows their personality, blah blah blah, and it just gets so formulaic!  

Case in point: I’m a fanfiction reader/writer (hey, we all have our guilty pleasures) and I logged into the Yu Yu Hakusho section to find five brand new stories from OC-writing authors. I was so excited! I love OC fiction and that’s pretty much all I write, so when I opened each story in a new tab I did NOT expect to find myself grow absolutely cold.

Why did I grow cold, you ask?

Well.

Guess how each and every one of those stories began.

“BEEP BEEP BEEP—”

I am NOT kidding. "Beep beep beep." Just like that. Verbatim. Not only did each author start their story by showing their OC getting out of bed (complete with mirror-description when they did their hair) each author felt the need to write the phrase “BEEP BEEP BEEP” to show us that there was an alarm clock involved—heaven forbid we just DESCRIBE the way the beeps sound!

Two of the stories had “beep beep beep CRASH” to show that their OC exacted violent revenge upon their alarm clock, which makes me wonder just how much they must annually spend on clocks  since they seem to destroy at least one per school day. But, how much do you want to bet that they’ll wake up at LEAST six more times over the course of the story, with the sole difference of leaving the alarm clock perfectly intact?

Anyway, back to my original topic. I cannot begin to tell you just how much I appreciate a beginning that isn’t a transcription of a character’s morning routine. You see it all the time in teen fiction (which is why I rarely read YA works) and fan works, so in the rare event that I come across a beginning that is unique—though at this point I’d settle for ANY not-a-waking-up-scenario, screw the level of originality, and consider myself lucky—I tend to find myself grinning with the unexpected pleasure of it.

The moral of this rant? Find an interesting way to start your stories, preferably one that doesn’t begin with a beginning. The first chapter of a story is CRUCIAL in getting people to keep reading, so why begin your work with a blasé formula hundreds of other people have previously beaten into the ground?