Taxonomic Classifications of Fanficcers

Let me establish something:

I LIKE FANFICTION.         

That’s right—I am a fanficcer. I am not going to hide that fact when posting on this blog, nor am I going to attempt to sugarcoat it. Plain and simply put, I am a fan of writing and reading fanfiction: A fanficcus authorus, and a fanficcus readerus, too.

If you have a problem with that (which would make you a fanficcus malficcus), you have two choices. The first choice is to bite me. The second choice is to ignore me completely. I prefer the second option, should you actually have a problem with my preferences.

Now, I know I seem all defensive and whatnot, but let me explain: I don’t know if it’s just the snooty kids at my college who act this way, but it seems that every time I mention fanfiction in front of the people I know outside the internet, I get laughed at—or, if the person who hears me saying something along the lines of “I write fanfiction” is skeptical of the merits of fanfiction (in which case they are a fanficcus skepticus), I’ll just get a pitying, unconvinced look followed by an abrupt dismissal of my writing abilities.

This has, of course, led me and my delicate sense of self-worth to the shameful act of hiding my fanworks from most of the people in my life (making me a fanficcus closetus). Practically the only people who know I write fanfiction are my roommates; to everyone else I just say that I “write and post stories on the internet,” leaving what KIND of stories to their imagination.

I hate having to admit that I’m shy about my fanfiction. I really do. Fanfiction has taught me SO MUCH about writing: being able to craft a story from beginning to end while getting feedback on each and every chapter posted (a handy tool, because if your story starts getting boring you’ll actually get a heads-up before wasting too much time on a dud plot); having people tell you if your characters are consistent since they know them just as well as you do; learning how to keep people interested in a story when there are so many others to choose from… there are tons of reasons to write fanfiction, especially if you’re looking to hone your writing skills in a stress-free environment full of people who all love the same things you do.

Because let’s face it, people: Fanficcers love their fandoms. They have to. They wouldn’t be writing fanfiction if they didn’t.

On that note, while I can’t say that all fanfiction authors are as concerned with improving as I and many of my friends are (because I, a fanficcus learnicus, want to publish novels in the near future and I use fanfiction to gauge what an audience might respond best to), I CAN honestly say that the fanfiction world is populated by far more than hormonal teens lusting after fictional characters—because even if you hate it, the “hormonal pre-teen girl lusting after a fictional character” IS the overall fanficcer stereotype (fanficcer fangirlus).

Just take a look at some of the more popular fandoms. Harry Potter is full of youngsters captivated by a brand new world full of possibility and magic (both literal AND figurative in this case) and it shows from the multitude of crack pairings and chat-speak stories clogging up the archives. They’re young, they’re in love, they don’t know any better, and while you can’t blame them for trying to be a part of a world they adore, their presence can sometimes overwhelm a newcomer to the fandom (fanficcus n00bicus) and make them think: “Gee, are ALL the authors like this?”

The answer is a resounding ‘no.’ Dotting the list of fics you’ll find utter gems of stories written by Harry Potter’s first fans, many of whom are college-aged at this point and well past their fangirling tendencies. The young ones are simply a louder voice since there are so many of them—after all, fewer college-aged kids have time to write fanfics than middleschoolers, but maybe if more of the older fans DID write stories, the stereotype could get turned around.

The Yu Yu Hakusho fandom—of which I am a loud and proud contributor—is another example of a fandom with an odd mix of fic-types and fanficcers. The show originally aired in the early 90s in Japan; in America it aired around the year 2000 or so, putting me at only ten years old at the time. Most of my friends in the fandom share a similar background: They watched the show as a pre or early teen, today they own the DVDs, and since the series had an abrupt and unsatisfying ending, we do our best to fill in the gaps and give the beloved characters the real resolutions they deserve. Jumping into the fandom today, you’ll probably run across more of these older authors (fanficcus originalus) than younger ones. YYH isn’t advertised much anymore and the older fanbase is basically all that’s left of the fandom’s long-gone golden era of popularity—it’s no wonder, then, that writers under the age of twelve are few and far between.

However, there is a surprising ring of younger voices in the newer pages of the archives, and after speaking to a few of these authors on how they got into YYH, I found a trend. Most members of the younger crowd (Generation 2, or fanficcus secondarus) have older siblings or parents who watched the series and were subsequently introduced to it through the trickle-down effect, or they caught the tail end of the series right before it stopped airing on Cartoon Network’s Toonami block and rediscovered it when they hit their teens. These new voices are younger, yes, and some of them might be less experienced, but nevertheless it is exhilarating to hear that YYH is being passed on into new hands, ones who can further expand the fandom even though the show has long since reached its end. Without them, the fandom would pretty much be dead. We fanficcus originalus owe the fanficcus secondarus a lot.

                I feel as though I’ve segued into an off-topic thingamajig (not to mention how I’m starting to sound like a naturalist with all these taxonomic classification names) so let’s get back on track.

                When people insult fanfiction on the grounds that it’s full of the stereotypical hormonal pre-teens, I tend to point them toward Yu Yu Hakusho regardless of whether or not they’ve seen the show. While it’s not exactly rare to find bad-fics or troll authors (fanficcus trollus) in the YYH section, they are NOT the general rule of the fandom. I think that in comparison to other fandoms, the YYH section is populated by a breed of fan many other fandoms lack. Yu Yu Hakusho is an oldie, a golden oldie, and most writers tend to reflect the show’s venerated status by treating it with respect. We LOVE Yu Yu Hakusho—we love the characters, the premise, the inexpressible taste of the show, and although there are authors who will take characters far outside their personalities for the hell of it, maliciously abuse Kuwabara, or kill off Keiko because many think she’s just plain too “annoying” to live, the majority of on-site authors are the type who want to fill in the gaps the show left unfilled, and they want to do it well.

They are the fanficcus exemplarus—the exemplary fanficcers—and I wish their voices were louder. Maybe then I, a fanficcus closetus, would have the courage to raise mine.

Terminology (with bonus terms not used in the above text):

Fanficcus authorus: A fanficcer who writes fanfiction.

Fanficcus badficcuss: A fanficcer who writes bad!fanfiction (not to be confused with fanfic badfic, which classifies the actual story). Can be intentional (in which case they may have cross-bred with fanficcus trollus) or, more commonly, unintentional (in which case intervention from fanficcus exemplarus is wise).

Fanficcus closetus: A fanficcer who has trouble admitting they write, read, or review fanfiction; a closeted fanficcer.

Fanficcus exemplarus: A respectful, articulate, capable, and in all other ways exemplary fanficcer. Determined on a case-by-case basis; no age restrictions.

Fanficcus fangirlus: A fanficcer stereotype. This specie is a “phase specie”, or one that can be grown out of.

Fanficcus learnicus: A fanficcer who write fanfiction in order to grow better at writing, be it fanfiction, school, or other work.

Fanficcus malficcus: A person who dislikes or hates fanfiction and fanficcers in all capacities. However, by being aware of what fanfiction is enough to hate it, they have landed themselves in the fanficcus genus. (For someone unaware of what fanfiction is, see homo whatficcus.)

Fanficcus n00bicus: A new fanficcer who isn’t yet savvy with the way the fanfic world works.

Fanficcus originalus: A fanficcer who has been with a fandom since its inception, or at least close to it. Usually older; there are exceptions.

Fanficcus readerus: A fanficcer who reads fanfiction.

Fanficcus secondarus: A fanficcer who is new to a fandom. Age flexible. Can become a fanficcus originalus after gaining enough experience or recognition.

Fanficcus skepticus: A person who doubts the merits of fanfiction, but harbors no real hatred for it. However, by being aware of what fanfiction is enough to doubt its merits, they have landed themselves in the fanficcus genus. (For someone totally unaware of what fanfiction is, see homo whatficcus.)

Fanficcus trollus: A fanficcer who intentionally mocks a fandom, fanficcer, etc. for their own amusement.

                Homo mehficcus: A human being who has no real opinion on fanfiction. Has usually heard of it, but their definition is normally patchy at best. Parents tend to fall into this category.

Homo whatficcus: A human being who is unaware of what fanfiction is in any capacity; a human being who has never heard of the concept of fanfiction.

Classifications of Stories:

Fanfic AUfic: A fanfic set in an alternate universe. Could be subtle (one canon story arc never happened or happened differently) or pronounced (the Star Trek cast goes to highschool).

Fanfic badfic: A bad fanfiction. Can be applied to badly written, plotted, or characterized fics.

Fanfic chatfic: A fanfiction written in chatspeak.

Fanfic crackfic: A crack fanfiction. Even though fanfic crackfic may contain elements of fanfic badfic, fanfic OOCfice, or other fanfiction classifications most view in a negative light, fanfic crackfic uses these elements in a humorous, ironic, satirical, or otherwise subversive way that is self-aware.

Fanfic goodfic: A good fanfiction. Can be applied to any fanfiction of any other category (though probably not fanfic badfic for obvious reasons).

Fanfic MarySuefic: A fanfiction containing a Mary Sue. NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH fanfic OCfic.

Fanfic OCfic: A fanfiction containing an original character (OC) as a primary main character. NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH fanfic MarySuefic.

Fanfic OOCfic: A fanfiction containing characters who are consistently out of their established canon character.

Fanfic slashfic: A fanfiction containing slash.

Fanfic songfic: A fanfiction based on or formatted around the lyrics of a song.

Fanfic trollfic: A fanfiction written by fanficcus trollus, typically to gain negative attention or rage.

Fanfic WTFfic: A fanfiction that makes no sense. Often confused with fanfic crackfic, fanfic WTFfic is a real attempt at a fanfiction that was ill-conceived and not properly thought out prior to publication. Crosses over with fanfic badfic.

Mini-Rant: ORB

                (/rant)

                I absolutely despise it when people use the word ‘orb’ as a synonym for ‘eye’.

                Example: “His gentle emerald orbs stared at me.”

I know that it’s in the dictionary and that that fact just about kills me, but I will never, EVER stoop to using it. It’s too dramatic, too romantic, too flowery when ‘eye’ could do just fine and not sound like some fourteen year old pining for a fictional character that will never (nor should) exist anywhere outside the realms of her own personal fantasies.

Here's lookin' at you, Schmeyer.

(*repulsed shudder*)

(/endrant)

Beginning

   [Before I go off on my rant, let me just say that if this applies to you, I apologize, but perhaps I might be sort of, kind of, maybe just the TEENSIEST bit on to something worth hearing? Anyway, no insults intended. Peace.]

             One of my biggest pet peeves is reading a story that begins with a beginning. Since that sounds remarkably counterintuitive, allow me a moment to clarify by asking:

“How many stories have you read that open with the main character getting out of bed in the morning?”

The question was a rhetorical one since the answer is quite clearly “A MILLION AND ONE.” I can’t begin to tell you just how many (usually amateur) books, short stories and fan fictions I’ve read that start with the main character throwing their BEEP BEEP BEEPING alarm clock across the room, cursing that they have to wake up so early, and then going on to do their morning beauty routine (which always includes a handy mirror scene in which the OC/narrator/main character can tell the reader exactly what they look like down to the last detail).

Beginning a story with another beginning (in this case, the start of a new day) is incredibly cliché—yes, we get this story is starting fresh, and yes, we get that waking up seems like a good place to start since you’ve got a full day ahead of you to describe, but have you noticed that all those character-wakes-up-beginnings lead to the exact same first-chapter-outline? Character goes to school/work, character talks about the people in their lives, character shows their personality, blah blah blah, and it just gets so formulaic!  

Case in point: I’m a fanfiction reader/writer (hey, we all have our guilty pleasures) and I logged into the Yu Yu Hakusho section to find five brand new stories from OC-writing authors. I was so excited! I love OC fiction and that’s pretty much all I write, so when I opened each story in a new tab I did NOT expect to find myself grow absolutely cold.

Why did I grow cold, you ask?

Well.

Guess how each and every one of those stories began.

“BEEP BEEP BEEP—”

I am NOT kidding. "Beep beep beep." Just like that. Verbatim. Not only did each author start their story by showing their OC getting out of bed (complete with mirror-description when they did their hair) each author felt the need to write the phrase “BEEP BEEP BEEP” to show us that there was an alarm clock involved—heaven forbid we just DESCRIBE the way the beeps sound!

Two of the stories had “beep beep beep CRASH” to show that their OC exacted violent revenge upon their alarm clock, which makes me wonder just how much they must annually spend on clocks  since they seem to destroy at least one per school day. But, how much do you want to bet that they’ll wake up at LEAST six more times over the course of the story, with the sole difference of leaving the alarm clock perfectly intact?

Anyway, back to my original topic. I cannot begin to tell you just how much I appreciate a beginning that isn’t a transcription of a character’s morning routine. You see it all the time in teen fiction (which is why I rarely read YA works) and fan works, so in the rare event that I come across a beginning that is unique—though at this point I’d settle for ANY not-a-waking-up-scenario, screw the level of originality, and consider myself lucky—I tend to find myself grinning with the unexpected pleasure of it.

The moral of this rant? Find an interesting way to start your stories, preferably one that doesn’t begin with a beginning. The first chapter of a story is CRUCIAL in getting people to keep reading, so why begin your work with a blasé formula hundreds of other people have previously beaten into the ground?

Ten Things I Hate About--Oh Wait, Wrong Movie

I figure that since reading this blog-thing will probably be pretty boring if you don’t know me as a person (because, redundancy aside, my personal writing is rife with personal references) I should take the time to just list off some random factoids that probably will never come up again and, as an added bonus, serve absolutely no purpose whatsoever.

                I swear I’m only pessimistic under stress, promise.

1. My biggest pet peeve EVER is having someone tell me that they know something I should know, but then refrain from telling me. It’s like dangling bacon in front of a starving man! My second biggest pet peeve is when people forget to clean up after themselves.

2. Dancing is so much fun! I love dancing in all its forms and while I might not be the best at dancing, I still love getting out on the floor just so I can feel myself move. There’s a very special type of joy that comes with dancing, one that I encourage everyone to try and experience.

3. My favorite country is, without a doubt, Croatia. Dubrovnik is a city of welcome and history, one I really felt I connected with when I visited it last summer. In a perfect world that involves me being a wildly successful author (fingers crossed!) I would get a house there.

4. I have some really weird nicknames, the oddest which might be ‘Samantha.’ The story behind that name is actually pretty simple: I loved the Samantha “American Girl” doll when I was a kid and refused to be called by my real name (which I started to hate when the child-me realized it doubled as the name of a state) in favor of adopting the doll’s. My parents only ever use the name ‘Samantha’ when they’re making fun of me or to bring up an example of how adamant I can get on the stupidest of issues, but considering that I’m pretty dang easy to make fun of… well, you get the picture.

5. After working as a tour guide at the museum’s aquarium, I have developed a deep and abiding love of sea creatures—cephalopods in particular. I now have a list of my favorite cephalopods, the amphioctopus marginatus (or the “coconut octopus”) topping the list.

6. The above is kind of strange considering that I’m afraid of swimming in the ocean.

7. My childhood home is a house on a ranch in the middle of Central West Texas. I miss it every day, especially the misty morning walks I used to take with my grandpa.

8. I know how to shoe a horse. I also know how to deliver a foal. My grandpa used to be a Ferrier and he taught me how to care for the horses on the ranch. It’s kind of a family standard that you should be able to take care of both yourself and everything you love all by yourself, so I was raised under the “know how to do stuff” rule in basically all aspects of my young life. This extends to home maintenance, laundry, sewing, car mechanics… I can do a lot of really random things thanks to the environment in which I was raised, and to my father and grandfather for taking the time to teach me.

9. Do you think it’s weird when people pull up to a stop sign and go so far into the intersection that the back tires of their cars are on the white line? Because you’re supposed to put your FRONT TIRES on that line, not your BACK ONES. I keep seeing people do it and it super-bugs me!

10. I am allergic to nuts and cats (which is odd considering just how much I love peanut butter and lions, but hey, taken in small doses and with an EpiPen…).

                I’ll find something relevant to write about next time, I promise.

                                ~G.