I Am A Unicorn, Apparently

I’m sure everyone who reads this blog or knows me as a person knows that I attended ACen 2011, an anime convention of epic proportions held up in the hallowed suburbs of Chicago. I’m also sure that everyone who reads this blog or knows me as a person knows that I took a lot of pictures at said convention, because I’m one of those obnoxious people who likes to show my friends my lame-ass photography as if it were something worthy of a Pulitzer. If you didn’t know that, it’s obviously because you haven’t trolled this blog’s archives (yet), because there was a post about it. Look it up.

Anyway, I’ve decided that I need to write a little something about the spectacle—a requisite this-was-a-huge-deal-to-me-so-therefore-everyone-else-MUST-care type of post. I mean, it was three whole days of my life, ones shared by what might have been the largest crowd I’ve been in since I went to the World Series with my dad in ’05, so it has to count for something. Maybe. I’m not really sure. All I know is that I’m going to jump right into it; there’s really no other way to start.

Aside from barely eating because the hotel’s food was way overpriced, meeting some rather interesting individuals who just so happened to live in my college town, and getting told I was a “unicorn” (more on that later), ACen was a fairly normal situation. I’d known it would be packed, but with 20,000 people coming in and out of the convention center every day, it felt even bigger than I’d anticipated and, oh wow, I had NOT expected most of the crowd to be dressed up as various fictional characters (a surprising amount of which were NOT from anime). I’d known some of them would be, of course, but I’d thought they’d be in the minority—was I ever more wrong-o in my life? NO. I was most definitely not.

Most people had dressed up in something, be it character-based cosplay, steampunk cosplay, or the guy running around in a suit of samurai armor made out of Cheez-It boxes. There was something for just about everyone—Doctor Who, Kingdom Hearts, and even a Big Daddy from the Bioshock games (turns out, the older sister of the girl who was in the suit goes to my school; small world). I actually felt rather out of place in my civilian clothes: jeans, a tanktop, and sneakers.

Funnily enough, though… the plainclothes actually helped me stand out, at one point.

I was wandering through the artist’s alley taking pictures and looking for Yu Yu Hakusho swag when I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around. Standing before me was a cute guy who also wore civilian clothing. I had no idea what he wanted and gave him a blank, nervous stare, to which he returned a winning smile.

“Can I take your picture?” he asked, hefting a point-n’-shoot Canon.

I stared at him for a moment, utterly taken aback. Then I said: “I’m not dressed up as anything.”

He smiled.  “I know.”

“Oh,” I said. “OK.”

I was a bit dazed and didn’t think to question his nonsensical answer, so I stepped back and flashed him a peace sign and a grin, waiting for him to snap the pic… but then I frowned as the weirdness of the situation hit me.

“Wait a minute—this isn’t one of those take-a-picture-of-an-ugly-girl scavenger hunts, is it?” I asked, voice full of suspicion. “Because someone at my school did that to a friend of mine last year and I—”

He looked appalled. “That’s not it, I swear!” he protested.

“Then what is it?” I wanted to know.

He paused for a second. I could see the wheels turning in his head. Obviously he had some explaining to do and was wondering just exactly how to do it.

His answer was not what I expected.

“You,” he said, looking me dead in the eye, “are a unicorn.”

Predictably, I stared him. In shock. Because just what the hell was that supposed to mean?

“You are!” he said when I didn’t agree with him. “You’re a unicorn!”

“Uh… how do you reckon?” I managed. A unicorn? Me? Is this guy smoking something? … does he share?

                “Well, me and my buddies have a bet going on,” he said. “One of them doesn’t believe that there are any attractive girls at the con who aren’t dressed up as something, and it’s true that they’re rare—they’re like unicorns.” He waved a hand, indicating my general personage. “Ergo, you’re a unicorn, and since no one believes you exist, I need proof that you’re real if I want people to take me seriously!”

                I started laughing at that point. He snapped the picture, shook my hand, and walked away.

                “That better not end up on 4chan!” I yelled after him.

                He turned around long enough to put his hands to his face in mock-horror. “Whoops!” he yelled, and he vanished into the crowd.

                Afterwards I went home and tape an icecream cone to my forehead and covered myself in glitter. Like a boss. And it looked something like this:

Word up, bitches.